Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Friday, August 5, 2005
Violent J • Weekly Freekly • Number 32121
Weekly Freekly: Number 32121
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What is up y'all. I just walked into the house and started typing. Why? Because I'm all geeked up and giddy and I gotta tell y'all about this freshness. You see, I just got back from the Michigan State Fair. Only mere hours ago, Hatchet Don Billy Bill entered and WON the Michigan State Fair Demolition Derby. His fresh car was called "The Hell's Pit" and it was looking pretty fuckin' devastating. Peep the photos on next week's Pic of the Week. Billy had more fans there to see him than the State Fair had. We were off the hook too, cheering and screaming, and gettin' live as hell for Billy Bill. He outlasted the other cars and won that bitch. After it was over and the other cars were destroyed, Billy showed off and held the checkered flag out his window as he took laps around the track. That shit was really dope and the next time he races, we'll post the date and location right here on the website so that you can come get live with us if you want.
Twiztid is headed out with a convoy of tanks, hummers, trucks, and all kinds of military style warfare for their nationwide assault known as the Man's Myth Tour. They got Anybody Killa with them as well so you know that shit is real serious. As I sit here typing this I'm listening to hatchetradio.com and they're bumpin' that new Twiztid right now. The one thing about Twiztid to me is that there is no one thing. There's endless things. They come in so many fuckin' styles. Every record takes you someplace unexplored. Man's Myth and Mutant both are like whole catalogs of brand-new sounds and styles. Never try to predict anything them boys do, because you can't do it, dude. They're just too fuckin' creative to do anything twice over. They blow your brain and just when you get it back together they drop another joint and blow it again. There CD's are like lil' cases of pre-rolled Northern Lights blunts.
Man, what a Gathering y'all. We hope everybody had a good time, now that everyone is home and safe and chillin'. Some ninjas had flights home, some had rides home, some had to walk home, some ninjas might still be there waitin for next year. I don't know though, that might not be a good idea. We're thinking about bringin' the Gathering someplace else next year. I mean, don't get me wrong, we loved having the Gathering at Nelson Ledges, but the owner of the place has banned us from ever coming back again. So therefore we've been thinkin' about maybe moving it next year. We probably will. Maybe we can have it someplace else for a few years and then come back! That would be fresh, but who knows. All I know is that, once again this year's was outta this galaxy for me and Shaggy. The 2 Live Crew fuckin' turned that shit out. I know some of y'all were at their after party all night long at Club Crunk, and y'all seen it. Y'all witnessed the madness. You know what I'm talkin' about. For me personally, the whole weekend was fuckin' too much for me to actually comprehend. I have to go home first, and finish processing all the information, which takes about a week or two. All I'm saying is I'm a huge fan of wrestling, and I was up in Club Chaos with Jeff Jarrett and Abyss like, "Whut?" Terry Funk wrote about us in his book. I can't believe it all. And Club Chaos was so fuckin' dope this year, when you really stopped and checked it all out, it was stunning. Yo, all I'm saying is they had VIP parking for certain golf carts. And I was on the list, byatch. That shit was so off the hook this year, they had surprise live performances from just about everybody that played at the Gathering. It was Kayos all night long. Peep out their fresh website at clubchaos.net, but if you weren't there, you'll never really get it.
This year's JCW vs. TNA war was the absolute nuke. The Rude Boy and myself, along with help from 2 Tuff Tony worked real hard writing the matches up to try to make the wrestling the shit this year. I know that it was packed around the ring on Friday, way less ninjas on Saturday (I'm guessin' because ninjas was passed the fuck out) and packed again on Sunday. We had a lot of really great fuckin' wresters this year and congratulations to Mad Man Pondo who is the new JCW World Champion. If you see Pondo is going to be wrestling in your town, go see him defend our belt and throw a quarter at him for me. Thanks to TNA for getting down and dirty with the Juggalos in the woods. Them guys belong at heart. We're family forever with them boys. Thanks again to all the wrestlers for really pouring it on this year. Especially Evil Dead who made a special rare appearance in the ring on Sunday, saving me and Joey from a dangerous situation.
This year for the first time we had mixed martial arts fights at nighttime. The Friday Night Fights were the best for me. Some people thought it was fake. If it was, they schooled us at Psychopathic too because we didn't know. All I can say for sure is after seeing what I saw, next year JCW's going to be the ones having the midnight matches. Because that ring looked so fresh up under those lights at nighttime. Plus the crowd was all feelin' extra drunk and crazy. So it's official, next year it's gonna be JCW's Midnight Massacre Wrestling. The shoot-fighter guys can have the hot-ass day slot with the sun beatin' on them instead.
Man, we ain't been on the road this year yet. We're basically taking this year off. We're reloading all our guns. Changing our tires. Tune-ups, refills, oil changes, and all that dope shit. We're spending some good time with our families at home this year too. We're fuelin' up good because next year Insane Clown Posse has our biggest attack ever laid out. Next year we will bring you ninjas the biggest HEAT WAVE of our whole careers as professional professionals. Wait and see, bitch, wait.... and... see.... So we've been deep in the lab, down in the tunnels working and when Dark Lotus got to walk out on that stage, Friday night at the Gathering, and see that sea of Juggalos, it felt like our first time again. And when me and Shaggy took the stage Sunday night, you could see the steam rising up off all the ninjas. And when the spotlights lit up on y'all, it looked just like it did at Woodstock. A Woodstock of real-ass Juggalos.
And who would join us on stage? The legendary madman, the chairman of the boards, Mike E. Clark. All over your face with slap-boxin' blows of freshness. He was the secret weapon for y'all. He was our surprise attack at the Seminar. And ninjas was crying. Ninjettes was passin' out left and right. News helicopters were crashing into each other above. At the ending of our show, 2 liters was flying, wrestlers was suplexing each other, a fire hose was blasting, 100 clowns was dancin', rappers and rockers were everywhere, Zug Thug Syn was singin', "We'll never die alone!!!" Fuckin' you name it. That shit was unbawevable.
Before Twiztid took the stage on Saturday night, Jumpsteady, Shaggy and myself walked out there on stage and we showed everybody the trailer for our new series... Chronicles of the Dark Carnival. We showed y'all, we schooled y'all. Just in case somebody thought we was bullshittin', now ya know. That shit was lookin' all fresh too wasn't it? Yes it was. Our boy, Roy Sota along with Ry-Ry and the rest of his henchmen are directing and filming the whole series. You can also thank your boy Roy for that new fresh-ass Twiztid video and the new Twiztid collectible action figures. He does all that. Roy gets props a lot because Roy is the boy. Roy Sota has skills like Yoda. I myself just call him Roy Yoda. Oh, and also coming soon from Roy your boy are the rare and devastating Soopa Villainz exclusive figures.
Now peep this. This is no lie, bitch. We finally have a winner. As if you ain't heard, we officially have a fuckin' winner of the Underground Psychos Contest. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only, well actually the two and only.. Axe Murder Boyz! They won with fuckin' 52% of the vote. That's how close it was. The vote box had all types of shit in it besides just vote coins too because y'all mother fuckers play too much. We had to fuckin' hose off the coins. But we counted them out and on Sunday, Alex came into my trailer and told me the news... "Well it was really fuckin' close... really, REALLY fuckin close," he said. It was AMB over PLC with 52% of the vote. Wow. Out of all the coins handed out with Gathering tickets, only about 3000 ninjas voted. I probably would have saved that fresh-ass vote coin too though. That bitch is a souvenir. Think about it.
Some ninjas might question our tactic of having the Gathering Juggalos only vote for the final winner, but that's because there's too many questionable tactics with just the internet. And look how close it was! Now earlier in the polls, the Playaz Lounge Crew we're showing the most promise from the start. But when Gathering time came around, apparently a rumor spread that PLC wasn't really Juggalos and many say that had a lot to do with the outcome. Well I've talked to those guys and they told me that rumor is straight up bullshit. They were and are Juggalos for life and always will be. Those PLC guys are real good people. Rumors are for little gay girls anyway.
As for the Axe Murder Boyz, they FUCKIN' EARNED THEIR VICTORY. Fair and square. They started off kind of slow in the polls but they just kept climbing up and up. Then they made final two. At the Gathering they fuckin' tore that shit up on stage Friday and that did them a lot of good. They won, fair and square and we're bringin' them to Detroit to get to work very soon. I like those guys. I can already tell you this. Anybody Killa and Blaze are going to hit the road later this year for a national tour and Axe Murder Boyz will be joining them on that tour. Congratulations to them ninjas, and everybody get ready to see them tear shit up on stage in your hood.
I mentioned Mike E. Clark was at the Gathering and I know you've heard by now, Mike E. Clark is the official and sole producer of our mighty Tempest album. That is right.
Just like us, since we parted ways, Mike E. Clark has been keeping very busy working with all types of ninjas. But the separate paths we took 5 years ago have finally remerged into the same road once again. And that's the road to the top. We're all proud of how everything played out for each other. We each needed time to get out and do other things and gain experience in this rap game.
BUT SCHOOL'S OUT AND ITS TIME TO GET TO WORK. THE TIME HAS COME FOR US TO SPLIT YOUR FOREHEADS OPEN LIKE NEDENS... THE WICKED CLOWNS ARE COMING BITCH. WHAT IS THE TEMPEST? LOOK IT UP, SLAP NUTS. IT'S A GIANT STORM OF HORRIFIC PROPORTIONS. A HURRICANE OF ICP'S HISTORY AND FUTURE, SLAMMIN' AND SPINNIN' AROUND TOGETHER VIOLENTLY. WE WANT OLD CLASSIC SHIT, NEW CLASSIC SHIT, SHIT FROM OUTTA NOWHERE. OLD SOUNDS RE-FREAKED, NEW SOUNDS STABBING THROUGH THE OLD SCHOOL. ICP's soft side, OUR HARDEST SIDE, MELODIC, EROTIC, AND DEMONIC SIDES. A STORM HITTIN' YOU WITH EVERYTHING WE GOT IN THE WORLD. WHAT WILL IT SOUND LIKE? BRILLIANTLY TWISTED REFLECTIONS OF ALL SIX JOKERS CARDS, WITH A CROW'S-EYE VIEW OF THE FUTURE. That's what the Tempest is gonna sound like.
But before all that, you get to peep all this... ICP's Forgotten Freshness 4!!! Featuring about 10 never before heard ICP tracks as well as remixes of songs off Hell's Pit and Shangri-La. Remixes done by who, you ask? I thought you mighta knew, Mike E. Clark and the "E" stands for "YEAH BITCH". It's seriously going down on for FF4 because did I mention that it's also a double CD? Yes, it's true. The other bonus CD is the Hallowicked Album. It features every Hallowicked single ever done in order. That's 13 songs. Lucky 13, too! All Halloween-style. It's the Hallowicked Album complete from 1992 to 2005. Now that's fresh. Fuck what anybody says.
Oh yeah, in case you haven't noticed, our planet is under massive attack. the SOOPA VILLAINZ have arrived. Hope y'all like the album style. THE SOOPA DOOPAS. Just know that when you see the first Soopa Villainz concert, it's going to flip your face over. Because that's how hard you're gonna get slapped with originality. Just wait till you see how the Soopa Villainz do it at their live shows. Bring a medical bag. The Soopa Villainz have only one show scheduled for right now. They are playing Detroit in November. The show's gonna be filmed for the rest of y'all on the internet.
Check this out, I mentioned a minute ago about how ABK and BLAZE was going to be hittin' the road in November. Well, let me tell y'all what they got going on.
Drive-By. That's what.
DB is big time fresh as hell to us in the Hatchet fam. Listen, I'll tell you why. See, when it comes to rap styles, way, way, back in the day, it was all about BASS. At least in our city it was. I'm talking about riding down the block knockin' so loud your license plate screws fall out. Way, way back then, it was like the harder the bass in your trunk was, the harder you was. You were sayin' "I ain't scared, I'm not just riding down this block, but I'm lettin' every-fuckin'-body know I'm right here. Bumpin'." Anyway I don't wanna sound outta date, but fuck that cause that shit's classic. I'm talking about that old school bass-rap sound. Shit like old school Too Short, or old Magic Mike, or Ron C. I'm talking about that hard-ass, slow and thumpin' bass shit. Esham, Lavel, Shaggy, myself and of course Drive By all strongly agree. So we set out to bring it back through the new group DRIVE-BY. That unique sound of the BUMP. Drive-By is Killa and Blaze. But we all helped make this record as authentic and classic as it should be. We did straight up, hard-ass, slow tempo heavy bass tracks and Killa and Blaze fuckin' shined skills all over 'em... The record is called Pony Down. Check out the title track here.
Drive-By represents a whole look down to the shoe. And they rep that look all the time. The sound they have, the look they have, it's all a state of mind. I'm bettin' Juggalos will start showin' up with the look to rep. The look, the sound, the style, it's all Drive-By. You gotta hear it to feel it.
White t-shirt, black Kakis and white Ponys bitch. That's the look. Straight up and down and sideways across your cheeks. To help you understand the Drive-By sound, we've included a taste. This is just one song to help you realize the freshness of the Pony Down album. Listen to the song, let your ear drums remind your brain about the fuckin' 808 BASS that is missin' so much these days.
We just finished the Drive-By album. Don't worry, your going to be able to get your long-ass alien fingers on it soon. But you must remember. Your head. Remember what the doctor told you about your head. It can only take so much. So we don't wanna overload it YET. Because Drive-By ain't comin' out for a whole ‘nother MONTH! That's right ladies, you'll, be able to get them from us online, or buy one or try and steal one off the merch booth on the upcomin' Twiztid and ABK tour. But it wont be in stores just yet, Drive-By is seriously, deliriously, dangerously underground for right now. You gotta do a lil' work to get this album. You can't just go down the street to the gay-ass mall and get it like that yet... This shit has to be ordered. But don't let your balls drop just yet, because remember, it don't come out for another month.
Damn, that was so fuckin' fresh when Billy Bill won that fuckin' demolition derby tonight. In the Hell's Pit car too. That was some fresh-ass shit.
Man, Shaggy's kids are so off the hook fresh. He walks into the studio and they both come boltin' in around him from both sides doin' flips and rolls all over the warehouse. Two handsome twin boys who know each other like nobody else ever will. And they sure love their daddy. Joey's always twisted a knee or sprainin' a back or somethin' from wrestling with his kids around the house. Man that's what I can't wait to do. JJ can kind of wrestle now. He can stand on my lap, grab my eyelid, and then twist it and almost rip it off. He's gonna be a fresh-ass wrestler. His screams are so high-pitched the dogs run outta the house when JJ starts laughin'. He's gonna be a fresh-ass singer maybe. Who knows. That's what's up. It's ALLLLLLLLLLL good 4 us.
Life in the studio has been fresh for us and so has life at home The only thing we miss is the stage. That's why this year we're not just doing one Hallowicked Clown Show. Nope, we're doing 5! Count them 1, 2, 3, 4, FIVE!!! King Kong Bundy Style, "FIVE!!!" FIVE HALLOWICKED SHOWS THIS YEAR. Minneapolis maybe? Indianapolis possibly? Columbus? Maybe St Louie? This year we're going to bring it as live as we can, straight from the pumpkin patch to the stage...
This has been your boy, Big Violent J reminding you guys that you should never try to hump a woodpecker hole while jumpin' on a trampoline.
I'm out like all them other cars that Billy Bill smashed the fuck up tonight.
Much Clown Love y'all,
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